


always holding on to stars

by xcertaindarkthings



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:15:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27805948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xcertaindarkthings/pseuds/xcertaindarkthings
Summary: Seraphine Kharis has been away from the Jedi Temple for years, returning to fight in the upcoming Clone Wars.  Upon returning, she reunites with her closest friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi.  The two have shared a Force Bond for years, and Seraphine is forced to face feelings she'd worked to bury all her life.  The two, along with Anakin and Ahsoka, work to navigate this perilous time in the galaxy together.  As a family.  And learn how to pick the pieces back up when it all starts to fall apart.
Relationships: Asajj Ventress/Quinlan Vos, CC-5052 | Bly/Aayla Secura, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Original Female Character(s), Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	always holding on to stars

**Author's Note:**

> hi there :) so this is my first time posting a full work and writing for star wars, so i hope you like it! it will be a multi-chapter series. feel free to leave any comments/constructive criticism in the comments, it's greatly appreciated.  
> come say hi on tumblr @ xcertaindarkthingsx ! my inbox/ask box is always open.

Fingers fidgeted, twisting a lock of hair over and over again. Nerves began to creep up on the Jedi, but the steady rumble and thrum of the Republic cruiser helped keep them at bay. 

“You’re nervous,” her companion, Cordé, stated. Seraphine turned to face her; their faces bathed in the soft, blue light of hyperspace. She was right of course, but there was no way in hell Seraphine was going to admit it. 

“Am I?” she tried to play cheeky but the waver in her voice betrayed her. _Kriff_ , she thought. 

“I can’t imagine why; you haven’t any bad blood with anyone there. Unless,” Cordé paused, “this has something to do with a certain Jedi Master you left behind,” adding an arched brow and a smirk. Seraphine shot her best murderous glare towards her friend before wrapping herself tighter in her robes. An old habit from when she was a youngling.

“Oh, please,” she enunciated with an eyeroll. “It’s not that it’s just… I wonder how different ‘home’ will be now.” Home being the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, where she grew up. 

For the past 4, almost 5 years, Seraphine had been on a long-term undercover mission on Kessel, a lawless planet in the outer rim territories. There, she met Cordé, and together they worked with locals and other Jedi stationed in nearby outposts to uncover and destroy an extensive trafficking ring. It was difficult, and they suffered great losses, but within 2 and a half years their mission was a success. Seraphine longed to return home, but instead decided to stay and deal with the fallout of their mission and further assist the victims. 

That quickly came to an end after the events on Geonosis. When word broke out of the battle and upcoming war, a distress call was sent out to the far reaches of every system, warning every Jedi Temple of what was to come. Those who were able, or those originally from Coruscant, were to come as soon as possible to aid in the war effort. 

Just a few days ago, Seraphine received her own transmission from Master Yoda and her old Master, Plo Koon. They urged her to come back home and bring any extra hands if possible. So, there they were, aboard a cruiser en route to Coruscant. 

Seraphine’s mind wandered to what she had left behind all those years ago. Her friends— Aayla, Quinlan, Kit, Nejaa, Bant; her master and mentors. Not to mention little Anakin training as a Padawan, and his master— Obi-Wan Kenobi. Her closest friend, her partner in crime, and the most honorable man she knew. His old master, Qui-Gon, had been partially responsible for bringing her to the Temple as a child. They had grown up together on Coruscant; trained as Padawans, became Knighted within a few years of each other, and carried out plenty of adventurous missions before she left. 

Her heart skipped at the thought of him. They had grown so close over time, and she realized too late that her feelings for him had turned into something forbidden, something they were sworn to deny. 

It was no secret to Obi-Wan that Seraphine didn’t fully agree with the way the Jedi Code was conducted, especially when it came to casting aside emotions and preventing attachments. Her abilities within the Force made doing so very difficult. They had many spirited discussions with each other and their masters when they were younger. Obi-Wan did not find it amusing how much Qui-Gon and her agreed on such sentiments at the time. 

Nevertheless, Seraphine never revealed how she felt about him. How could she? There was that whole situation with Satine, and more importantly— she knew what kind of man he was. While he had his disagreements with the Council at times, he was fiercely loyal to the Order. The probability of him reciprocating such intimate feelings for her just seemed impossible. 

However, she knew how much he cared. Obi-Wan had always done well in preventing emotions from clouding his actions in important situations, but that didn’t mean he was callous. He was compassionate and cared deeply, and always made sure, in his own little way, to show it. They entrusted each other with their lives. 

But Seraphine had grown weak and tired of burying herself away, so she did what she thought best: she ran away. 

Confessing that she was leaving was difficult. While he tried to mask it, there was no denying the wave of hurt and disappointment that radiated from Obi-Wan. There was no doubt that if he knew how big a part he really played in her departure that it would hurt him even more. So when asked why, Seraphine held back, and he could tell. Her failure to tell the whole truth had left a bit of a ridge in their relationship. 

They tried to keep in touch, but it became difficult when she went deep undercover, so their communications died out. Something sat heavy in Seraphine’s gut and chest, like a boulder, whenever she thought of him for too long. _Guilt,_ her mind told her. _What you’re feeling is guilt._ It felt like she was losing a part of herself. 

Being so far away, she worried constantly for his wellbeing. Regardless of how capable she knew he was. But something ensured that if anything were to happen, she would feel it. 

By some twisted form of fate, a Force Bond had developed between them during a mission they had carried out just before she was Knighted. If one of them was in trouble, the other would know. Seraphine wouldn’t trade it for the world, but it wasn’t the most convenient thing to possess when trying to hide her true feelings. However, Master Plo’s teachings and training made reigning in her emotions doable. To her, the pros outweighed the cons. It was nice being able to reach out and feel Obi-Wan’s presence in the Force when she was missing him. 

She always wondered if he did the same.

Foolishly, she thought time would subdue her feelings. She was wrong. All the kriffing training in the world couldn’t prepare her for being forced to face the very thing she’d been avoiding for years. 

It’s not that Seraphine didn’t want to see him, but she didn’t know if she could handle his reaction to her return. Resentment? Would he even be on the platform when they landed? Insecurity seeded itself back into her mind, making her feel like the ugly duckling she always saw herself as when they were Padawans. Seraphine buried her body deeper into her robes, painfully conscious of herself. Doubts continued in her mind in a torturous cycle until Cordé interrupted.

“We’re about to make the drop out of hyperspace. We’re here, Seraphine.

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Obi-Wan’s hands fidgeted with his forearm armor while he stood, waiting in the landing bay of the Jedi Temple. His heartbeat thrummed in his ears as he began to pace, one hand absentmindedly stroking his beard. 

“You’re nervous,” Anakin pointed out to his former Master, amused. He’d never seen him act like this. 

“I most certainly am not,” Obi-Wan insisted. He most certainly was, but there was no way in hell he was going to admit that to Anakin.

“Really, Master? Cause’ I haven’t felt you this tense since—”

“Oh, don’t start.”

Obi-Wan believed he had every right to be nervous. In a few moments he’d be seeing his oldest friend, his _closest_ friend— Seraphine. They had grown up together, here at the Temple. And while she was 6 years his junior, they had trained closely as Initiates and Padawans together, and she became Knighted just a few years after him. She had been there for him during one of the most difficult times of their lives, when Qui-Gon had died.

They had been inseparable since they were younglings, so when she decided all those years ago to leave so abruptly, he couldn’t help but feel like he was losing a part of himself. But he couldn’t, and wouldn’t, let it show. He was aware there was more to why she left— their Force Bond had told him that much— but when he pressed her, she refused to disclose. 

She had been his rock in taking care of Anakin, and he’d been fearful of what would happen when she left. It was difficult the first few months, and it didn’t help that his heart had suffered a blow as well. Obi-Wan recognized his hurt reaction as indication of feelings he was not supposed to have, so he told himself it was truly for the best. Though, it was hard to get his heart on board with his head. 

They had tried to stay in touch when she had first left, but it quickly became difficult with their differing schedules, and almost impossible when she went deep undercover. He worried for her but knew that if something bad happened he would feel it. Once in a while, he would reach out in the Force just to feel a touch of her presence and make sure she was still there. 

He wondered if she ever did the same. 

News came around the Temple of her successful mission a few years later, and he remembered being incredibly proud. As quiet as she was, Seraphine was also the fiercest person he knew, and it showed in all her actions. Not only was he proud, he was excited. A successful mission meant she’d be coming home soon. 

However, he was disappointed to find out she’d be staying out there for who knows how long, to clean up the fallout of the mission. Somehow that news hurt more than watching her leave, but he couldn’t be angry with her. Most people go in, get the job done, and leave without any regard for the long-term consequences of their actions. But Seraphine always took responsibility for her actions, good or bad. It was just the kind of person she was, and one of the many qualities he admired in her.

And now, he was finally getting what he’d been looking forward to all these years. With the war looming over them, they were in dire need of assistance from any Jedi they could spare. Not only that, he knew that her incredible skills would transfer over well to becoming a General for the Republic, and the Council knew it too. Just a few days ago, Master Yoda and Plo Koon had reached out to her directly to come home. He couldn’t bring himself to be in the briefing room when they called. 

“Why is he nervous?” Ahsoka whispered loudly to Anakin, interrupting Obi-Wan’s reminiscing.

“Oh, for the last time, I’m not nervous,” Obi-Wan insisted. “It’s simply been a long time since I’ve seen her, she’s a dear friend.” He reminded himself to keep a reign on his emotions. 

“I have some memories of her, but they’re a bit fuzzy. In bits and pieces,” Anakin murmured. 

“You knew her too?” Ahsoka questioned, trying to get as much information about this mystery woman that seemed to have Obi-Wan on edge. Anakin nodded.

“She helped Obi-Wan take care of me when I first came to the Temple. We’d always train out in the back courtyards, under that big blossom tree,” Anakin paused and chuckled. “I’d sit and watch her sketch in her notebook, or she’d tell me all these crazy stories.”

The memory caused a burst of warmth in Obi-Wan’s chest; those days seemed so far away now. He’d already heard all her crazy myths, legends she had buried her nose in or remembered from her homeworld and recited as a child, but he loved to listen to her retell them to his young Padawan. His thoughts went to those very sketchbooks Anakin had mentioned, which were hidden away under his mattress, along with a small box of her belongings. She had given them to him as a sort of parting gift. A promise; something for him to hold onto until she came back.

“So, why did she leave?” Ahsoka probed further. 

“She left for that Kessel trafficking mission a few years ago,” the older Jedi responded. The younger furrowed her brows, realizing it was something she’d learned in her classes.

“That was her?” Ahsoka was stunned. “We’ve talked about her in our studies, she’s amazing.”

Obi-Wan smiled to himself. “Yes, she is.”

Something about that mission sparked a faint memory in Ahsoka, something she’d read in an Archive file. “Wait, didn’t the same girl destroy that sect of Black Knights that emerged a long time ago?”

The memory of that mission left a sour taste in Obi-Wan’s mouth. He’d almost lost her that day. He opened his mouth to respond but was quickly interrupted by Commander Cody’s voice crackling on his commlink. 

“General Kenobi, we’ve got an incoming ship from the east. Looks like they’re here.” Obi-Wan nodded at his Commander from across the platform, steeling his nerves as he watched the ship land. 

He held his breath as the hatch opened, watching two figures emerge. Seraphine. He picked her out immediately as the one in front, knapsack hanging off her slight figure. The one trailing behind must have been her friend that Master Yoda mentioned. Obi-Wan urged himself to calm his emotions; stay cool and collected. 

That silly notion completely disappeared upon seeing her walk down the platform.

 _Oh, Maker, she was beautiful_ , he thought. Just like she had been the day she left, but things were a bit different now. Her face had matured and while she always had a hardened demeanor, there was something else she wore on her face now. A sort of defiance in her brow that wasn’t there before. 

Back then, Seraphine had buried herself in her Jedi robes like a security blanket. Always trying to make herself smaller, quieter. But now? Obi-Wan was in awe at how much taller she stood on that platform. Without even thinking, his eyes roved up and down her body. Her robes kept her somewhat obscured, but he could make out the new fabric underneath. It was still modest, but he never remembered seeing so much of her skin before, especially her legs. The thought made his face blaze and he quickly tried to think about _anything_ else. She mirrored Anakin in her dark colored wardrobe— not a traditional Jedi look but then again, she was not a traditional Jedi. 

He willed his eyes to shift their focus back to her face, noting how long her hair had grown. When she had left, it was still short and choppy from her Knighting, when she had impulsively cut it along with her Padawan braid. Now, it was long and flowing, like when they were younglings. A silver circlet sat at the top of her head, attached to a chain that weaved into her violet locks and made her look like an angel, her namesake. 

Obi-Wan’s chest tightened as they got closer, and realized it was because he hadn’t taken a single breath since she stepped off the ship. Reminding himself to breathe, his eyes fell on the familiar swirl of tattoos on the edges of her face and down her neck. Others often found her markings too striking, too stark of a contrast on her skin and features, but Obi-Wan always thought it suited her perfectly. 

He desperately tried to make out her expression, but her head was tilted towards Cody as she walked and talked. Her presence was immediately soothing to him, a pulse of comfort in the Force, but there was a cloud of uncertainty that hung in the air. Whether it was hers, or his own, he couldn’t tell. Would she even be happy to see him?

Those thoughts dissipated when Seraphine finally looked away from Cody. Obi-Wan watched as those golden brown eyes lit up and she broke into that wide, toothy smile of hers that always made him melt. It was a smile that rivaled even Master Fisto’s trademark grin. 

His heart was in his throat, but he managed to smile back. In the blink of an eye, the space between them was erased and her arms had enveloped him in a hug that was too big for someone of her size. He stiffened on reflex, but quickly relaxed. Obi-Wan was never one for public displays of affection but for her he would make an exception. 

“Obi-Wan,” she breathed into his ear, clutching him tight. Disbelief tinged her voice and the air around them, like she wasn’t sure if any of this was real. He clutched her just as hard, assuring her that it was. Her touch had stoked something in him, and he realized how long it’d been since he hugged another human being. 

“Seraphine, my darling,” the term of endearment slipping out. Obi-Wan rarely called her that with so many people around, but frankly he was too happy to care. Gone were the days of having to reach out into the Force just to feel a taste of her presence. Now, he was almost overwhelmed by it. Their Bond seemed to swirl in harmony, sending waves of bliss and relief over them. 

He didn’t mind. All that mattered to him was the fact that she was finally back home with him, where she belonged. 

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵

Seraphine’s stomach somersaulted as the ship dropped out of hyperspace and made its descent onto the landing platform. The nerves were overwhelming, but a tiny ball of excitement sat in her chest as well. She’d be seeing her best friend again. 

The hatch of the ship opened with a _hiss_ and she willed her legs to move forward, half aware of Cordé trailing behind. The two were greeted by a Commander Cody at the bottom before making their way towards the Temple entrance.

From afar, Seraphine could see a small group of people gathered that seemed to be waiting. She squinted, trying to make out any faces while making small talk with Cody. Her heart caught in her throat when she was close enough to see him. Obi-Wan.

 _Oh, still as handsome as the day I left him_ , she thought. He looked a bit different, but that familiar twinkle in his eyes let Seraphine know that it was still her best friend standing before her. Not to mention the signature smirk he so often wore. _Smug bastard._

He had grown older, but not in a bad way. The smile lines that crinkled around his eyes made him look even more distinguished. His hair had grown out, accompanied by a well-groomed beard that suited him perfectly. Maker, _that beard_ , she thought. Seraphine willed her mind to keep itself in check, but that kriffing beard was raising all sorts of sinful thoughts in her head. Thoughts she quickly shook away as her face began to heat up. 

The traditional Jedi attire he usually wore included additions of battle armor that broadened his shoulders and heightened his build. Seraphine never thought she’d live to see the day where Obi-Wan Kenobi, the ever “peaceful negotiator”, donned an outfit for war but he looked _good. It should be a damn crime to look that good_. 

The excitement in her chest was crushing and her feet surged forward on their own. A huge grin was plastered on her face as she threw her arms around him, whispering his name. She felt Obi-Wan stiffen for a split second, but his arms dropped and encircled her just as quick. 

“Seraphine, my darling,” he whispered softly in her hair. A stronger flush rose on her cheeks at the sound of his nickname for her, and she was thankful he couldn’t see her face. She breathed in his scent and smiled. Still the same as before: warm, clean, with a hint of oak. Seraphine squeezed tighter, wanting to make sure it was really him standing in front of her. No more reaching out into the Force just to feel a faint taste of his presence. Now his signature shined brightly, blazing through their Bond. He was really here, and she was finally home.

The grin never left her face as she took a step back to look at him. Stormy blue eyes meeting hers and making her heart melt. A wave of relief washed over them, and neither was able to tell whose it was.

There was so much Seraphine wanted to say, but the right words just wouldn’t seem to form. Instead, she resorted to what she knew best with him— teasing. She playfully tapped the end of his beard with a small smirk. 

“You look… different,” she said with a laugh, and thankfully he did too. “In a good way.” A smile spread across Obi-Wan’s face, along with that twinkle in his eye. 

“I could say the same about you,” he countered, and Seraphine’s face betrayed her with another blush. The older Jedi thought it was endearing how easily flustered she was, even if she found it mortifying. He watched in amusement as she tried to force it down and cover it up with an eyeroll. 

Remembering they weren’t alone, Seraphine turned to the man standing next to Obi-Wan. Her brows furrowed, trying to identify him. He seemed to enjoy watching her try and figure it out, judging from the mischievous smile on his face. Something about it made him look so familiar, almost like…

“Anakin?” Seraphine asked, dumbfounded. Anakin responded with an even bigger grin than hers before reaching out for his own hug. “Gods, I can’t believe it. You’re not a little kid anymore,” she mumbled, feeling bittersweet. He had completely grown up in her absence, his figure towering over hers. The thought was sobering. Seraphine felt like it was just yesterday she was wrapping him in blankets, acclimating him to the cold of Coruscant. 

“It’s good to see you again, Seraphine,” he punctuated with a tight squeeze. As she looked over his shoulder, she met the eyes of a young Togruta girl. She wondered why a Padawan would be here, but still gave a polite smile as she pulled back from Anakin. 

“I don’t believe we’ve met yet, what’s your name?” Seraphine inquired, extending an arm out as a greeting. The girl seemed to be skeptical at first, but with a small nod from Anakin she took Seraphine’s hand. 

“I’m Ahsoka Tano. I’m Master Skywalker’s Padawan,” she answered, pride clear in her voice. Seraphine tried to hide her surprise as she let go of her hand. While Anakin had been a very skilled and powerful student when she left, he was still wild and headstrong. The fact that he’d been Knighted, let alone given a Padwan, shocked her. _I supposed if anyone could get a Padawan so early, it’d be the Chosen One,_ she thought. 

“Seraphine Kharis, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh, I know,” Ahsoka replied, much to Seraphine’s confusion. “We’ve talked about the Kessel mission in our studies. Your work is looked up to by a lot of us.”

Seraphine tilted her head at her, a look of puzzlement on her face. _They talked about us in their classes?_ “Well, it certainly wasn’t just me, I had a lot of help. Especially from her,” she assured, putting a hand on Cordé’s shoulder. 

After everyone was introduced, the group made their way towards the inside of the Temple. Falling into stride with Obi-Wan, Seraphine leaned to his side to whisper.

“They gave him a Padawan _already?_ ”

“Hey!” Anakin interjected, shooting a glare my way. Obi-Wan chuckled.

“Oh, trust me. I expressed the same sentiment at first, but he seems to be doing alright so far,” Obi-Wan assured. Seraphine could only imagine his initial reaction but knew that he trusted Anakin. That didn’t stop her from teasing though.

“Right, I can tell from the number of new grays you’re sporting.”

Ahsoka’s mouth fell open in shock and laughter while Anakin snickered. Obi-Wan simply glared back, but Seraphine knew there was a small smile threatening to take over.

“It’s nice to know you haven’t lost your sense of humor while you were gone,” he countered. 

“ _Never_ ,” she smirked. Obi-Wan shook his head at her. 

“Now, you two can drop your bags off in your rooms, but I’m afraid we’ll have to go straight into the briefing after. The Council is waiting, and you’ll be introduced to your clone divisions.”

Anakin and Ahsoka announced they’d be going ahead while Obi-Wan led the remaining duo to the main sleeping quarters. Seraphine was surprised to see that they had decided to give her old room back, with Cordé being given the one right across. 

Seraphine peered into the old room, not sure what to expect. The quaint space she had spent almost her entire life in was void of any artifacts or trinkets that once branded it her own, but strangely still felt like home. 

_Some things never change._

They dropped off their things and made their way towards the briefing rooms. 


End file.
